Someone would claim (as learned through many comments posted on online forums) – masturbation is a trend now (mostly talking about the female one). I’d rather say that people finally start talking more openly about this crucial topic.
Someone was already talking about it before, someone is starting now because someone else is currently talking about it, and someone would like to talk about it.. but still doesn’t really know what it is. And digging this up, doubts come out. So I thought I’d start from the very first simple question everyone, at some point, has to face:
What is masturbation?
What scholars say
Combining the definitions from some dictionaries, we can explain the masturbation like the erotic stimulation (hence, something referred to sexual urges) of the genital organs for sexual pleasure. Someone talks also about the orgasm as result of this practice, but it’s still not time to make things complicated.
What I’d say
In simpler and softer terms, the way I like it, we can say that practising masturbation means touching some body parts to give pleasure. And, in our case, about female masturbation: touching the vulva, and not only, to give pleasure.
Don’t you think that, said like this, it absolutely doesn’t sound like perverse, sinful and wrong (as many people made us believe?)
Because, actually, it’s nothing like that. It’s rather something natural and pleasurable which makes us feel good.
Why do people masturbate?
We all have a body (I know, I’m proceeding with caution) and this body sends us signals which we call sensations. Depending on the kind of sensation we feel, we respond with behaviours aimed to make us feel good or better. When we feel pain, we look for a way to stop it and feel better; when we perceive something pleasant, we try to carry on that sensation to keep feeling good. When we realize that by tickling, touching, stimulating some body parts we can cause lovely sensations..why don’t keep doing it?
Now a step forward
Probably, the very first time we perceived a positive sensation coming from a contact with erogenous zones it was by accident. And, probably, acting naturally and without being fully aware of it, we tried to carry on that state of wellbeing by maintaining that enjoyable contact. Maybe without even being aware of which other sensations we might have been able to feel. Without even knowing and having heard the word masturbation.
And here I think to have partially answered to one of the frequently asked questions:
At what age do people usually start masturbating?
In order to give a general response to all the questions which attempt relating masturbation to an age, a technique or whatever rule, I’d say that
When it comes to experimenting with the body, there’s no usual age to start or stop doing it, no better or worse way to do it, not a correct practice and a wrong one to follow.. (I might go on forever). Everyone finds his own way (time, place, partner) of doing it.
About the ‘How to’, we can do it by using hands, everyday things (the list of objects girls find around the house and use to experience pleasure is endless and I’ll write it up soon) or items designed on purpose (sex toys).
I feel I have to remind the most important thing is that everything must be extremely clean!
The female body areas which get stimulated during the masturbation are mainly clitoris and vagina, but also the nipples play their part and are fundamental to someone. Playing with the body means to discover new exciting spot day by day, so go ahead!
Masturbation and orgasm
To get back to some vocabulary definitions, the fact that we can reach an orgasm by touching our body is for sure a (pleasurable) chance, but not the rule. Someone finds hard to reach the orgasm this way.
I personally think that the right path to achieve this awesome goal is also the most simple: get relaxed and do not try to control feelings. Forcing ourselves to feel something or to reach the orgasm doesn’t allow our body to give a natural response to the stimulations, and become counterproductive by adding unnecessary anxiety.
A ‘safe place’ and the relief of being alone and having the chance to give in to our thoughts and gestures undisturbed play a key role..
What masturbation is not
It’s not a disease, a phobia, a disorder, a sin or every other ugly word can come up your mind.
It’s not even a trend: the difference is not that no one was doing it before and now whoever is, but in the fact that no one was talking about it before (at least about the female one) and now someone is.
Just to leave no doubts
Masturbation is a natural practice and it should remain like this, so the message I’d like to get across is not that you’ve to turn sexual pleasure into an addiction and break the bank account to fill the drawer with sex toys and all-purpose plastic penis, or try to feel good by touching your body just because it’s the right thing to do according to some online comments. I simply think that the right way to feel good about our own body and to live our sexuality peacefully is not to repress the sensations of pleasure released by our body and to accept the practice of masturbation with no shame as well as whatever moment of the day.
If you like it: explore it and experience it. If you never tried it: give it a try.
In every case: love yourself!
Lots of love,
Le Sex en Rose